Perhaps one of the main driving / motivating factors in my life is my desire to have a meaningful life. I believe that many people have the same desire. A year ago, when everything was in the air, there was a decision for me to make. I could either serve the Lord, by testifying for Him on the college campuses, to bring God to the students who are seeking Him, or I could get a job, and work. Serving the Lord and bearing fruit was the more profitable choice, of the two. It was a living that would be precious to the Lord, if not to anyone else. At least, when I stood before the Lord, I could say that I spent my talent as best as I could to earn a profit for my master. But, eventually I settled on getting a job.
The main reason behind my decision was not where the money was. It was not even a seeking after convenience. The main reason why I chose the latter, less profitable, less meaningful living was because I was simply frustrated. It seemed that I was utterly useless in being able to bring God to men. Being able to bear fruit, by bringing sinners to Christ, seemed a dream which would never be fulfilled. And so it seemed, that if my life was not going to be profitable to God, even if I were to serve Him, then I mine as well choose to do something I can actually do with some proficiency.
As it turns out, working or doing anything seems to be based on many factors which are out of our control. Even when I could do everything I was told to do, throughout this past year, I still found myself running in circles, sometimes, wasting time and energy. While energy can be replenished, time is a nonrenewable resource. Sometimes, I caught myself wondering, Is what I'm doing here going to even matter? So, it very well may be that the Lord is showing me that the most productive thing I can do on earth is really to gain people for Christ, to be built into the Church, to bring Him back.
Written on May 24, 2011