I wish I could say there was a theme to the past month of my life. Instead, there have only been a few notable landmarks decorating the landscape in no particular order or design. However, as last year drew to a close, I did have the opportunity to reflect on the past year, how things went, and how I've changed. I now commit these fleeting thoughts to the digital realm before I get bored and move onto other things.
In regards to the large things, my life remains more or less the same as it has been for years. I still live at home, where I often eat my mom's cooking, and work in a friendly, professional, and engaging environment. While my life has been mostly in those two locations, I have consistently visited two other places during the past year: my former-coworker-now-friend's place and a restaurant called Yamasushi, where I have gotten to know most of the staff. The impact of my frequent visits to Yamasushi has been unquestionably felt by my wallet, where, after doing my finances, I concluded that I have more than doubled my food expenditures in the past year compared to the year prior. One priority for this year, then, is to cut back on these expenditures, which have resulted in cutbacks in mortgage payments.
However, the frequent meals at Yamasushi were well worth the time and money. It was there that I met a large variety of people, interacted with them in ways I had never experienced, and conversed with them extensively about all sorts of different subjects. In addition, I was able to taste food and flavors prepared with expertise, thought, and care. Through much conversation, I gained new perspectives into the way different people live, which has increased my tolerance, while, unfortunately, also adding to the melancholy of realizing the destructive nature of some of their lifestyles. For me, the one thing that has bothered me is the transience of this time that I am experiencing. After this period of time, some people will move on to greater things, while others will gradually descend into obscurity. I wish I could ensure that everyone is well taken care of, but I have been forced to recognize the limitations in my abilities and resources. To a natural problem-solver, these irreconcilable differences consume much attention, as I attempt to formulate solutions where there exists none. While I have prioritized sustainability and consistency as the principles on which my lifestyle is based, I see some well-meaning people hurtling down the path of a firework.
Despite these grim matters occupying a part of these past days, there have also been pleasant experiences with bright outlooks. Towards the end of December, I attended David Huang's Wedding Banquet, where, for one evening, it felt almost like a young people's meeting. A group of us who grew up together sat together at one table. While we did not really engage in deep conversation, it was pleasant just to be able to be with them again. The rest of the trip in California was more or less forgettable, between killing time exploring Santa Monica and visiting the sites I used to frequent during my time in the training. I also had disgusting tomato-based ramen. I also had really good ramen, too, but oddly enough, not as good as Yama's tonkotsu ramen.
Finally, there's a few footnotes of minor landmarks this year. Christmas eve was the first time ever that I threw up from drinking. Since then I have never drunk as much. Cutting back on drinking is another priority for this year. It's been 5 years. I should be done with the Life-studies. Instead, I'm less than halfway done. Reading more life studies is also another priority for this year. A brother has stopped meeting. Michael Ng is going to the training.
