I suppose this post marks the passing of a significant milestone in life. At least, 10 years ago, it was perceived as a significant milestone. As is the case with many things, where as one's perspective changes, the things that one value also change, so this apparently significant milestone does not seem all that great now. However, as the fulfillment of a promise with the me from 10 years ago, I will now match up my expectations at the time with the present reality. At the time, the most significant influence, when it came to these matters, was a certain song, set to the tune of Canon in D, which I will also quote, in sections, and answer the questions which the song, and I, was asking at the time.
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
Some things haven't changed. In fact, surprisingly little has changed in some areas of my life - some things which I expected would have changed, such as the way I look, the clothes I wear, the bed I sleep in, the things I do for fun, etc. I still like listening to Jpop, as I did 10 years ago. I still like watching anime, as I did 10 years ago. I still like playing with my computer, as I did 10 years ago.
So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
I did not think that in 10 years, I would have gotten the big jobs and be making the big money. However, I thought that eventually I would. 10 years ago, I probably thought that 10 years later, I would be programming enthusiastically for Google, or working fervently on the next Intel microprocessor. I was ambitious and eager to maximize my time back then, impatient of any time perceived to be wasted. I wanted to be successful, and I was happy to work for it. Most of all, I wanted to be paid doing something I enjoyed, regardless of the pay.
Today, I am somewhat successful, but the situation is very different than what I imagined. I did end up programming for a living, but for one of the numerous corporations out there, whose business goals I don't feel strongly for. Today, I am less interested in what far-reaching effects I have on the world, and more interested in being able to provide for my family, which currently consist of my parents. I have become one of the mundane employees whose attitude had always puzzled me, growing up. I think, as a high school graduate, I was free of the influence of money and practical constraints. However, as an adult, these practical constraints have ultimately become the driving force determining what I do for a living. In some respect, I am disappointed with the way reality has molded me.
However, the old jokes are still funny. At least, I think so. I still remember a lot of what I learned in school. I never tried to break every single rule.
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us around?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
I definitely do not think about tomorrow like I did back then. I survived and made it, somehow, quite well. The past is a shadow following me around. I think of it as a friend who is always there to entertain me. So, there you have it, me from 10 years ago. It has been a long wait, but your curiosity has now been answered.
I suppose, if these 10 years have shown me anything, it is that I am terrible at predicting what my life will be like in the future. About a year ago, I found a small booklet I had made when I was in 1st grade or so. It was filled with lofty accomplishments, which unfortunately, I fell short of. Perhaps the biggest difference was that, had my life gone the way I had thought it would, I would currently be raising three kids.
